Someone sent this to me, and asked if I could relate. http://www.stevewiens.com/?utm_source=The+Actual+Pastor+Email+Subscriptions&utm_campaign=7737bbbf8e-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_6beb214c33-7737bbbf8e-56355553
This was my response:
What a great read! I haven't done a full marathon, but I've done a half, training for my second half, but have done dozens of smaller races over the last few years. My best friend and I do a lot of races together, along with her sister. I was the runner first, then they started together later. I had never thought about doing a race.. My friend and I ran her second, my first race together. I beat her, only by seconds, but I did it. Since then, I have in my mind that I need to beat her. She's thinner than I am, well, just smaller in general. I don't know why I feel like it's a competition with her (only in my head). It totally gets to me. Messes with my head. I beat her in January, had my best race EVER! she was injured, so in my head, it didn't count that I beat her. I "hope" to do better than her, I "hope" to beat her time. The last race I ran, I was beating her, then I couldn't breathe, bra was too tight, air was too humid. I was still moving.. decided to walk.. heard her sister from behind, telling me to do it, just to go! Oh, did I mention that it rained and I soaked my shoes before the race? All these head games, Satan, telling me I can't. My legs saying I can, but my head not listening. Thinking back to my first half marathon, we trained together.. come race day, it snowed in Myrtle Beach.. race CANCELLED. Months of training, gone.. but there was a race in Columbia 2 weeks later. I ran it. UP HILL most of the time (never run this race, it stinks). She didnt run with me. So, I had to do it myself. I found people running about my pace, I'd go ahead, they'd go ahead. I prayed, just talked to God to let me finish this race. I finished the race, beat the time I had in my head, surged at the end!! NO ONE was there. I was crushed. Did the biggest race of my life, and no one was at the end. One of the ladies I met before the race was congratulating me, I started to sob.. All this work and no one was there to see me do it. I feel like I do this a lot. God is really the only one I need to be there with me, for me.
I guess I went off topic a bit, but the analogy for me is.. during my race, and the end of my race. I can hope to beat someone else, I can hope to beat my previous time, I can hope someone is there to cheer me on at the end. God is truly the one constant that I seem to forget to turn to. It's great having someone to cheer you on along the way, to give you that salt pack to boost you along when you feel you can't go any further. He is there cheering me on the whole way, He is there at the end.
