I don't know how to be a single mom.. take it, it's only a year, but I've never done it. Yes... there are millions of women and men that are single parents... like I said, I've never done it. Those that I do know, have parents that help, nannies, and even the other parent that takes the kids during "their time". What to do, what to do.. I really want to leave my job. I really like what I do, but not found with some of the things going on. Plus, I only see my girls, maybe, 3 hours a day. It's not fair to them. It's not fair that our wonderful babysitter who is pretty much family, saw Meredith walk for the first time today. It's no one's fault, it just happens.
I tried assistant coaching t-ball and had to rely on another mom to watch Meredith while i coached. If she wasn't there, I couldn't coach. Sometimes I had her on my hip because I was the only coach there and couldn't let the other kiddos down. Soccer starts in a couple of weeks and so does kindergarten! I want to be that room mom that volunteers. I want to be the mom that walks through the door and Madison is so excited that I'm there to help, not that I'm the mom that hasn't been there all day.
When Wesley actually gets to Kosovo in a few weeks and his pay is tax free, I'll be able to afford to stay home. There are stay at home moms that I want to connect with. I need to start praying about it more. I don't know if my job will let me work part time, take a leave of absence. I don't know that I can be a stay at home. I've worked since I was 15. I don't know how not to!
I guess we will see... Thanks for listening :)
